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Husband Wife Jokes Hindi

Shaadi Ke 1 Saal Baad Humne Yeh Jaana…..
Ki Har Woh Pati Udaas Hai;
Jiski Biwi Lambi Chutti Ke Baad Maayke Se Wapas Aane Wali Hai.



Bholu To Newly Married Pappu: How’s Your Married Life
Pappu: Not Good Yaar
Bholu: Why, What Happen?
Pappu: You Know What’s My Wife Name….
Bholu: I Don’t Know…
Pappu: Her Name Is “Google”
Bholu: What Kind Of Name Is That?
Pappu: Wherever I Am, She Find Me



Wife: Suniye Kahte Hain Jo Aadmi Accha Karm Karta Hai Woh Swarg Mein Jaata Hai,
Aur Apsarayein Unka Dyan Rakhti Hai, Phir Aurton Ke Sath Kya Hota Hai….
Husband: Kuch Nahi, Bhagwan Majloomo Ki Hee Sunta Hai

Engineer Jokes Electrical

Ek Baar Ek Beemar Electrical Engineer Se uski Wife Boli,
Is Baar Aap Jaanwaron Ke Doctor Ko Dikhao,
Tabhi Kuch Ho Sakta Hain.

Husband Wo kyun Priyatame??

Wife: Roj Subah Aap Murgi Ki Tarah Jaldi Uth jaate Hain,
Ghode Ki tarah Bhag Kar Office Chale jaate Hain,
Kachue Ki Tarah Din Bhar Office Chale Jaate Hain,
Kabootar Ki Tarah Idhar udhar Information Batorte Firte Hain,
Chimpangee Ki Tarah Malik Ke Ishare par Naacte Rahte Hain,
GharAakar Fir Kutte Ki Tarah Bhokte Hain Aur Ashanti Karte Hain,
Aur Saand Ki tarak So Jaate Hain Aur
Subah Late Tak Bistar Par Pade Rahte Hain,
Isme Aadmi Ka Doctor Bhi Kuch Nahi Kar Sakta.



Ek Baar Ek Madari Bandariya Ka Naach Dikhakar Bollta Hai,
Naach Meri Dulhan tujhe Paisa Milege
Kahan Kadardaan Tujhe Aisa Milega.

Bandariya: Chup Raha Kambhakt,
Kaun Sa Kadardaan Elecrical Engineer Hokar
Bandariya Ka Naach Dikha raha Hai.

3 Idiots Joke

                             3 Idiots Joke

1st Idiot: Why do Trains never go to Petrol Pumps???

2nd Idiot: Very Simple, it's coz petrol pumps can't Pump Air in Train Tyres !!!!!!

3rd Idoit: Ha ha ha !!! Arey IDIOTS, its coz petrol pumps don't have any Runways.





And the total idiot of a mother who ,

when her daughter became pregnant,

said "Don't worry maybe it is'nt yours".

Student:Give me sum xtra time

Give me sum brain

Give me another chance 2 write my paper once again

Examiner: Na nananana.. Na na nana





Q. "3 Idiots" could have been more Successful and Super Duper Hit Movie , if ?

Ans: Kareena told once in the movie, "Jahaan Panaah Tusi Great Ho, Tofa Kabul Karo" :-) :-) :-)


3 idiots-STUDENTS VERSION Give me some extra time,
Give me some brain,
Give me another chance 2 write my paper once again
EXAMINER- NA nana na,nana!


Man: Among my 4 sons 3 are engineer.
Friend: 4th? Man: He didnt study became a barber.
Friend: Why dont you throw him out?
Man: He is the only 1 who earns.


i've learnt many things 4m my idiot friends.
dey taught me d tricks 4 stupid activities.
dey taught how 2 laugh without any reason.
dey taught me how 2 stand smartly while being scolded.
but still i've complaint.knw wat?
dey din't teach me how 2 live without them


3 Stupid STAGE of LIFE : TEENAGE :
Have Time and Energy BUT NO Money WORKING AGE :
Have Money and Energy BUT NO Time OLD AGE :
Have TIME and Money BUT NO Energy


3 lessons from ... "3 Idiots" Movie.
1. Do any work with Passion n Choice..
2. Believe in urself All is Well..
3. Always have 1 Idiot Friend like u....


Plz don't see New Indian Movie 3 IDIOTS Bcoz they dont sign u.
We all protest against this bcoz you are the most deservng 2 b a part of da Cast!:-


Why were enginering stdnts happy after watching 3 idiots?
Ans.now the doctors did not done deliveries because enginers do it !
1 more Source of Placemnt After Enginering.


3 IdIoTs EfFeCtS: Enginers were happy after watching 3 idiots..!!
Reason:- instead of docotrs,
now baby delivery can be done by ENGINeRS also.
1more option for Placement..!


Sardar Jokes


lady to Dr - mera beta motercycle se gir gya.
Dr. - I don't know hindi pls .speak in english
lady - my londa gironda from hero honda

 Teacher: Can u tell the name of 2 great kings who have brought happiness & peace in to people's lives?
Sardar:Smo-king & Drin-king !!


Sardar- Is murge ka tang kaha gya?
Waiter- Sir murga langda tha
Sardar- Aur Dil ?
Waiter-Sir wo to murgi le gai.
Sardar - Abe Dimag To hoga Na .
Waiter - Sorry Sir murga bhi sardar tha...

Patni-Sasurji Ne Dusri Shadi Kr Li, Ap Unse Kuch Kehte Q Nhi
Pati-Q K, Unhone Mujhse Wada Kia Hai
Koi Acha Sa Rishta Dekh K Teri Bhi Karwa Dunga.

Ek Boy Bike Se Ja Raha Tha
Ladki Ko Dekh Achank Gir Gya
Ladki-Oh My God! Lagi To Nhi
Boy- Are Nhi Re Pagli, Hm To Aise Hi Bike Se Utarte Hai

lady to Dr - mera beta motercycle se gir gya.
Dr. - I don't know hindi pls .speak in english
lady - my londa gironda from hero honda

agr ap ko koi bhi anjaan parcel mile to
kripya use na khole
ushme meri photo ho sakti hai
apki zara si laparwahi apko mera diwana bana sakti hai

ladki: mummy mummy
ye padosi ka ladka mujhe bar bar kiss kr k bhag jata hai ?
Mummy: muskurai aur boli
bahut shararti hai bilkul apne baap pe gya hai..

Ek dost apne friend say:Yar suna hai tum apni bivi k sath bartan dhotey ho ?

Dost:To kya hua.Wo bhi to mere sath rotiyan pakati hai.

shadi karni thi kismat khuli nhi,
taj banana tha.lakin mumtaz mili nhi.
1 din kismat khuli.shadi hui ab taj banana hai.
pr mumtaz marti nhi

what is pyar ?

p-pagal hona
y-yado me khona
a-akele me tanha hona
r-roz ka rona dhona
Isiliye Don't do pyar.

Na Dil ko behlane k liye na ghar me sajane k liye.
bas apki 1 taswir chahiye hme,
apne Khet se "kouwe"
bhagane k liye


gurur vodka, gurur whisky,
gurur devo theli namh !
gurur sakshat desi pawwa,
tasme shri bear e namh !
bhagwan apko sada tunn
rakhe......cheers

A Sardar Doctor and Pandit luv same girl.
Pandit started giving an apple 2 D girl evryday.
Sardar Doctor asked: Y ??
Pandit: An apple a day keeps D doctor away!


Hindi Jokes


4 students ne paper ki tayyari nahi ki,
unhone 1 manshooba banaya
aur agle din principle se bole
Shir ham shadi me gaye the..
Raste me tyre panchar ho gaya.
Ham shari rat dhakka lagate rahe...
Isliye padh nahi sake.
Principle ne man liya aur unhone unlogo ko 1 din ka time de diya
aur agle din un charo ko 4 alag kamro me bithaya
aur sirf 1 sawal diya.
Q-kaunsa tyre panchar tha?
1- Front right
2- Front left
3- Back right
4- Back left
Note; agar same jawab hua to sab pass warna fail..

Funny Santa Banta Jokes in Hindi



Santa ki apni patni se ladai ho gayi
Ladai ke baad patni boli
Hey bhagwan agar yeh galat hain
To inhe utha lo or ager mein galat hu
To mujhe widhwa bana do..!

Funny Shayari for Friends



Tumhaari yaad dil se jaane nahin denge,
Tumhaare jaisa dost khone bhi nahin denge,
Roz sharafat se sms kiya karo warna ……,
Ek kaan k neeche denge or rone bhi nahin denge…

Hindi Flirt Shayari



Roshni deker doob jana koi suraj se seekhey..
Dil deker dard lena ki ada koi humse seekhey..
kuch na deker Dil lena koi unse seekhey..
SMS leker REPLY na kerna koi Appse seekhey,,

LADIES TOILET. :D



Teacher: Esi kisi jaga ka nam batao
Jise banaya to admi ne hai
Magar phir bhi wo wahan pe ja nahi sakte?
Students: MAM LADIES TOILET. :D

Santa ki condoms banane ki factory thi.



Santa ki condoms banane ki factory thi.
Ek baar USA se order aaya ki 14 inch ke condoms bana do.
Santa ne socha: Itne bade size ke condom banva ke america wale hamari beizzti karna chahte hai.
Usne apne workers ko kaha: tum condoms ka order ready karo, aur packing wale dibbe pe likh dena, medium size.

A nursery boy proposes a girl:



A nursery boy proposes a girl:
I Love U.

Gal Replies:
Ek thapad marungi khichke.

boy Replies
Mukka to jese tu khaygi nahi phir?
badhi aayi thapad marungi.

1 Day I Asked My Heart,


1 Day I Asked My Heart,
What is Love?

Heart Replied:-
Dekh Bhai,
Apna Kaam Blood Puml Karna Hai,
So Don’t Ask Any Question OUT of Syllabus!!

Taxi Wala: Sir sorry


Taxi Wala: Sir sorry
main meter chalu karna bhul gaya.

Santa: Oye praji koi gal nahi
main bhi apna batva ghar bhul gaya hu.

1 Bacha bohat der se ro raha tha


1 Bacha bohat der se ro raha tha
Maa ne pocha
Mere laal ko kya chahiye?

Toffee
Bhishkit
Ya
Milk?

Bachcha:
Bas Ek sanam chahie
aashqi ke liye..!! :D

Father to Son:



Father to Son:
Beta tum history mein fail kyu huye?
Son: Papa, Sabhi question us samay ke the
jab mai paida bhi nahi hua tha!

ASIAN PAINT



Kya aap ki skin garmi mein dhul mitti se effect ho rahi hai
to har roj subah lagaye

.

.

ASIAN PAINT

Jo dhul mitti ko tikne na de.

Ek bacha boy girl ko kiss karte hue dekh leta hai.



Ek bacha boy girl ko kiss karte hue dekh leta hai.
Bacha: mujhe bhi karne do Warna main apke papa ko bata dunga.
Ladki: Le yaar tu bhi karle,
Bacha kafi try karta hai,
Par wo height me kam reh jata hai,
Baccha pareshan ho kar.
“Bhaad mein gayi duniyadari”
Jo kam galat hai.. Wo galat hai.. Main to bataunga!!

Khafa hai ya koi gam hai,


Khafa hai ya koi gam hai,

Number kho gya ya balance kam hai,

Bhejo sms agar dam hai,

Ya fir maan jao ki sms ke BADSHAH sirf hum hai.

Dad: Aaj tak tune koi aisa kam kiya hai..


Dad: Aaj tak tune koi aisa kam kiya hai..
jis se mera sir uncha hua ho?

Beta: 1 bar aapke sar ke niche

l)('',)____//\_
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TAKIYA lgaya tha Bhul gaye? :D

Boy Friend on phone:


Boy Friend on phone:
Hi dear muje teri bahut yaad aa rahi hai
I seriously miss u!

GF: Abhi to baat ki humne
BF: Arey phirse tuje hi lag gaya, Sorry!!